There aren’t many pro wrestlers who can cut a promo the way CM Punk can. The Chicago native has had a sharp tongue since his indie days. Telling fans they “swallow” when they tell Punk he sucks? That takes creativity, my friend.
That was no different on a recent episode of Friday Night SmackDown, when the five-time WWE World Champion entered the ring as the “Dr. of Punkanomics.” Of course, this is a knock on the current WWE Champion, John Cena, who had the prior gimmick of “Dr. Thuganomics” during the early days.
It had plenty of solid references, including how Cena buried wrestlers more than the Undertaker. There was even a Kendrick Lamar reference, for crying out loud!
But that got the brain juices flowing. Where does this stand among the greatest promos from Punk of all time? Well, my friend. Let’s drop a few pipe bombs and look at some of the best promos from the “Second City Saint” himself.
3.) Punk vs. Rollins
It’s no secret that Seth Rollins and CM Punk hate each other. One soured on the thought of the five-time WWE World Champion returning after burning his bridges. The other? Well, he had enough of his crap. That’s when the two went at it on one Monday Night Raw on December 30, 2024.
Questions of loyalty fluttered in the air, carrying a stinging dart with them. Accusations of “taking his ball and going home” flew like birds heading south for the winter. All of a sudden, it evolved into an epic battle of passion and fervor.
Punk would take a jab at Rollins’s various injuries, including his neck and knee. Rollins would punch back with a quip about Punk’s childless life. It hit a crescendo with Punk talking about how he came back stronger after leaving the WWE.
Overall, it was akin to watching an “Epic Rap Battle.” The only difference was that it was epic with passion and grit.
2.) CM Punk vs. Triple H
When Triple H got his start as the “COO” of WWE, it was met with mixed reviews. Okay, well, they weren’t the most positive. It led to nearly the entire locker room walking out on him, but still.
There were concerns about ulterior motives and favoring bigger bodies in the business. As expected, the Chicago native had some choice words for the WWE Hall of Famer.
That included references to Triple H “asking for his wife’s [Stephanie McMahon] permission first” and “wearing Stephanie McMahon’s panties.” That’s why you can’t just pinpoint one moment for this ranking. You must look at his entire set of promos with “The Game.” Each one was an incredible diatribe filled with memorable quips that defined Punk’s first run with the WWE Championship.
Of course, this all wouldn’t have been possible without the big one…
1.) CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb
Yes, this is the big one. The legendary pipe bomb that changed wrestling forever. Without Punk’s promo in Las Vegas on a random Monday night, where would the WWE be?
Dissatisfied with being the “leader of Nexus,” the five-time WWE World Champion sat criss-cross on the floor as John Cena lay there uncomfortably. Nobody was safe, whether it was fans standing at the airport at 5 AM or Vince McMahon being the “biggest bully out there.”
As I was watching early 2010s episodes of Friday Night SmackDown, I realized how mediocre the program was during that time. There was no substance and everything felt… watered down.
Luckily, Punk’s “Pipe Bomb” broke the proverbial fourth wall and redefined the WWE as we knew it. No longer were fans tethered by mundane storylines with no juice. Now, things got serious. You can say they were more… realistic.
Colt Cabana got a shoutout and New Japan Pro Wrestling was given some love. But it also tapped into a frustration felt by numerous pro wrestling fans. They were fed the same garbage every night and wanted a change.
Without this promo, you wouldn’t have a realistic angle on everything. Without this promo, the fourth wall would still be solid.
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